Must Try Harder to Not Be Stupid...

Every Friday night Mary and I have date night. We go to dinner and sometimes a movie. This past Friday night we went to Red Lobster, one of our favorite new places. Only in recent years have we become seafood fans, so we're still testing the waters, so to speak. We both like shrimp, scallops, tilapia, and sea bass, but our favorite item on the menu is without a doubt their Cheddar Bay biscuits. They're light and fluffy and buttery and garlicky. They are magnificent, and if I ever figure out where the hell Cheddar Bay is, I may move there.

Anyway, I've been working on developing a taste for salmon—a task I'm not having much luck with. I don't necessarily dislike it, but I just can't make myself really enjoy it. But in yet another attempt to become a fan, I ordered the wood-fire-grilled salmon. Salmon, as you may already know, is rich in essential vitamins and minerals, as well as Omega-3 fatty acids. It has tremendous health benefits. Benefits that were completely eclipsed by my consuming roughly 38 Cheddar Bay biscuits.

I was modest at first, breaking my first one into several small bites. But as the butter and garlic took over, I got all worked up into a froth and began to devour them Cookie Monster-style, with bits of buttery crumbs flying about. At one point, the waitress asked me to slow down because the guys in the kitchen couldn't keep up. I was reduced to picking the crumbs off my chest like an otter. I even offered the folks at the table next to us $20 for the three they had left. It was not a proud moment.

But every experience is an opportunity to learn, and that's exactly what I did. People say that changing your habits and losing weight is a battle that's fought a day at a time, but I disagree. I submit that it's a bite-by-bite battle. You have to be consciously aware of every single thing you put in your mouth. Next time we go to Red Lobster, I'll be ready for the challenge. You know, once the restraining order expires.

~Alan