Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Drawing Board

There’s nothing I hate worse than staring at a blank screen. I’m sitting here attempting to craft a series of words that will explain, with brevity and clarity, why I haven’t written anything about my diabetes and weight loss in so long. That’s what I intended this blog to be about—along with the occasional funny experience or observation.
The simple truth is this: I haven’t been doing as well as I would have liked, and I’ve had so much support from so many of you, I really didn’t want to broadcast my failure. I shouldn’t say failure; my friend Chuck always reminds me that it’s only failure if you stop trying. I initially expected that the accountability of sharing my results on this blog would propel me to action and certain success. Yeah, not so much. So instead of admit my struggle, I’ve just chosen not to share at all, which is not what I promised myself I would do. So here’s a very brief recap of what I’ve omitted:
During the holidays, I ate more than I intended to—peanut brittle and fudge were particularly hard to resist—but still managed to maintain some semblance of control. But then I put weight back on that I had lost, slumped into a bit of a depression, and spiraled into a short season of bingeing. I’m doing better now, although I still have the occasional setback, though not nearly as often. I still need to get into a regular exercise schedule, something that will help as much or more than eating right. I’ve also been in the process of writing a memoir, for which the research and writing takes up a good bit of time, but were I to manage my time more efficiently I would have time for it all.
So I seem to be back at the drawing board, in a sense, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. After all, the drawing board is where plans are created, edited, and (hopefully) improved.